LOOK OUT FOR HYPOTHERMIA!!! GONADS AND STRIFE!!! IT'S FUN TO DIE!!!!
Katie and Jordan apparently witnessed a LIVE Mexican Mullet in Target today! Holy HELL!?!?! I didn't realize it was FRUIT PICKING time!?!?! Is it summer already? Maybe there was a sale at Taco Bell and they all came running from the BORDER!
Alright, that is my racial slur of the day.
No, one more...
Italians are greasy.
Ok, that's enough.
I cannot believe what a crack whore of a weekend I've had. This weekend has literally bent me over! I didn't go to the Florida game, I didn't go to Greek Sing, and I didn't even LEAVE my room all day! This is pathetic. That's what midterms will do to ya.
It's about 450 degrees in my room but I'm afraid to turn the heat down for fear that I'll die of frostbite overnight. It's still snowing here in Lexington and I have to say that I agree with DC...I HATE THE WINTER IN LEXINGTON!
So all that crap before about not using the "f*word" for Lent...it went down the drain as soon as Chris got here. Something about that boy makes me want to cuss like a sailor. It's not a bad thing...he just brings out the honesty in me.
Katie, Jordan and I went to see 40 Days and 40 Nights on Friday afternoon and it has totally inspired me. In the movie, the protagonist decided to give up sex for Lent. Since this is something I've given up for 19.6 years, it's not a sacrifice for me. However, seeing as how I am bored out of my MIND here at UK I have decided to try and give up some things that I hold dear just to make my life even more of a hell. Oh woe is me. Here's the game plan..."you get little Johnny a helmet and you put him in that game...he will play his little heart out for you...you give him the support he needs and he will take one for the team!"
#1) I am really really really gonna try not to say the f*word until Easter. Not that I believe that some words are designated as "bad" adn some as "good" but I say it all the f***ing time and I want to make myself a guinea pig for purity of language.
#2) No CHOCOLATE...oh dear, I can't wait till PMS rolls around on this one. I'll be killing sheep and spreading their blood on my doorposts to keep the evil cramp spirits out. It's just that Jordan is allergic to chocolate and I eat it in front of her all the time. I figure that if she can do without it, I can too for at least a few weeks. We'll see how long this lasts.
#3) No Starbucks...yet another vice of mine. Bad day? Go get coffee! I'm gonna try to find new ways to keep myself non-suicidal here at UK. Maybe I'll color or paint my toenails when I get the urge for some java. Let's face it, kids, Mandy really doesn't need any more caffeine in her system. I'm already schizo.
#4) No nookie. This is quite possible seeing as how it's hard to kiss someone from 5,000 miles away, but it sounds like a real accomplishment so I put it on my list. It's like scheduling classes...you gotta have at least one gimme class to get you throught the tough tones. This will be my motivation!
#5) NATURAL HAIR COLOR!!! I can't remember what my real hair color looks like it's been so long...so just as an experiment I want to try going back to brown for a bit just to see how ugly I looked before I looked scary! This will DEFINATELY not make it much past Easter!
#6) I will NOT CUT MY HAIR. This is my ongoing challenge. I honestly want to see how long I can go without cutting my hair. This is definately a vice for me. Bad day? Starbucks and get my head shaved does the trick! I'm going to have to paint my toenails every day!
#7) I will not go to the movies to see any more new releases. Every time I do, I end up doing some stupid crap like this and making myself miserable. Plus I think I own every chick flick ever put out. How sad is THAT?
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
#8) I will try to minimize my wardrobe by passing off the clothes I seldom wear to my friends so that I can not actually have to store them but I can still have access to them if I go through withdrawls. Clever, huh? Sad thing is that you are all reading this RIGHT NOW and you know my plan. Still, just go along with it as if you had no idea. Smile and nod...
So that's the plan. Now I must go to bed b/c those bastards at Frazee Hall thought it would be funny to give me an 8am appointment so I can walk through the snow and ice BEFORE THE SUN IS OUT! ISNT THAT FUNNY!?!?! I'll really need to start going there for brain evaluations on a regular basis if they do this crap to me next time! *I am going to get personality test results for a class. I am not legally insane...anymore*
Either way, that's just what I heard, I could be wrong!
JORDAN UPDATE Currently, she is sitting at her computer instant messaging people and checking to see if they are going to cancel our morning classes b/c of the weather. Dream on little Cinderella, dream on. UK hates us WAY too much to pass up a golden opportunity like this to dick us over yet AGAIN. Woah, she just took her shirt off. Free show to the boys of Haggin.
Goodnight little assholes...wake up tomorrow and go on with you meaningless, consumer driven life!
mandypants [1:18 AM]